Monthly Archives: January 2016

Derby. 5 Things Friday

I know you’ve been on pins and needles waiting to hear how derby tryouts went and well, that’s going to be the focus of my five things Friday.

1. I did my laps. I got 27 laps in 5 minutes and it was harder than I remembered, but I was able to successfully do it.

2. I still can’t turn around toe stop. Like, I can pretend and do this weird half fake thing. But, the way I’ve gotten comfortable turning does not work well if you have any sort of speed and as a result, I can’t turn let alone stop unless I’m moving very slowly.

3. Because of this (I think because of this) I got an email saying not that I just failed to make team, but that I was ineligible to try out because I failed to meet WFTDA minimums.

4. Bad: Well, that’s frustrating right? I was told I’d get another email with more info in the following days. It’s been a week and so far nothing. Being ineligible for failure to meet minimums makes me wonder if I’m allowed to skate with the league at all, because that wording makes it sound like I shouldn’t. I haven’t asked for more info yet because regardless of the answer I’m freaking out a little.
Thursday night I finished tryouts and found out I didn’t make the team. Friday I had a meeting with my academic adviser. She told me that I need to quit derby because I don’t have time for extra curriculars with the classes I’m taking this semester. She promised that this will be my hardest semester and I should be fine to go back to more free time in the summer, but I should cut back for the spring.

5. Good: This result was not unexpected. I was just thrown off by the wording of the email. I was also thrown off by how I felt after. Initially I felt indifferent (I didn’t read anything past the “unfortunately it’s been decided” for about two hours). Then I felt angry. Mostly because skills testing was the first day. Why couldn’t they tell me then and there that I didn’t make it? They must have known at that point, right?


Back in October (after the cluster-fuck and waste of time that was my first bout on a home team), I told C that I was going to stick it out through home teams and when I failed to make a travel team, I’d move to reffing if I still wanted to be involved with the league.

So… I guess that’s still the plan?!
But there is definitely an if hanging over the want to be involved in the league.


Five Things Friday (I)

Five things Friday seems like a really easy and pretty thoughtless way to keep up with what’s going on.
So, here is my five things Friday for January 8, 2016.

1. Derby! Tryouts. Tuesday was all minimum skills testing. Stops, balance, hits, etc etc. Thursday was derby. We scrimmaged and it was awesome. I felt great during both halfs. I had some great moment. I drew a track cut on the opposing jammer. I jammed (what?!). It was great. I really enjoy skating with the vets because they’re really good. And they communicate really well and they make me better.

2. Derby. Crap. I’m really scared that I’m not going to make the B team. I’m working hard to mentally prepare myself. And regardless of what happens, I feel really good about how far I’ve come. I know I’m still not great, but I can almost play along with the women I’ve been amazed by for the last year. And, if I don’t make it, hopefully they give me some good feedback so I know what specific items I need to work on for mid-season tryouts.

3. Seeing everyone’s pictures and posts from Disney World is making me so excited. I’m 90% sure that C and I are going to Marathon weekend next year. Maybe with his parents, maybe not. We shall see!

4. School starts again on Monday. My first semester wasn’t what I expected/wanted/planned/feared. My GPA wasn’t quite where I wanted it, but not bad. I don’t know. I think I know how to make next semester better. I’m excited and nervous to jump back into it.

5. Speaking of school, I need to figure out what my summer internship is going to be. I think I know what I want to try to intern in, but I’m not sure. My biggest problem is that everything sounds great. There are a few different places that you can take my degree, and they’re all really interesting to me. I guess that’s good because it means I’m in the right degree, but…. I don’t know.

That wasn’t as easy as I expected. Maybe I should do a three things Thursday.

Oh, we’re trying out for travel teams already?

Almost exactly a year ago, I went to a roller derby bootcamp. This was the one step required before trying out for the fresh meat program.
I had skated exactly once (the day before) since middle school. I had no business being there, but I went. And, it was exactly what I’d hoped. It was scary. It was intimidating. It hurt. But, I did it.
A few weeks later (after countless open skates) I tried out and made the fresh meat program. Yeah, okay everyone made fresh meat, but you had to show up! And I did!
And that’s all I planned to do. Show up until they asked me not to or it stopped being fun.
The last year of roller derby has been…. trying.
I’ve had the highest highs and the lowest lows. From bouncing off the walls because I was so excited for practice to crying on the drive home and vowing to never return.

Tomorrow is our first practice of 2016. League practice, which will be a run through of what to expect at tryouts and team practice, for the team I still don’t really feel a part of.
Then on Tuesday, travel team tryouts.
The grand prize.
My expectations are modest, at best. I’m hoping to be an alternate on the B team. Because, let’s be honest, that seems like a bit of a stretch.
(Last year, everyone who didn’t make the A team was given a spot on the B team. This sport/league is all about being inclusive, which I am more than happy to play along with. But the inclusive spirit is only to a point. That A travel team is not fucking around. Those women are serious and they are tough).
I still can’t turn around toe stop (one of the most used moves in roller derby). I still stand up too high when skating. I’m afraid of getting hit. I can’t get the timing right for hitting. I barely understand the rules. But I am constantly assured that this is okay. Derby is a complicated sport and I’ve been learning for less than a year.

Ugh. I’ll write about how it goes. Don’t expect sunshine and rainbows. Expect thunderstorms and small rainbows off in the distance. Maybe. The rainbows are a maybe.

Real talk: I’d feel so much better if I hadn’t decided to quit and then talk myself out of it during our winter break. As a result of this I haven’t skated since the Monday before Thanksgiving.
Yeah. 7 weeks. Fuck.
This is gonna hurt.

My goals and resolutions…

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next year. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next week. How am I supposed to plan and make goals around that?
Nope. Sorry.

But, I do have an inspirational quote (cause white girls love inspirational quotes):
The time’s going to pass no matter what, so do something with it.